Wednesday, July 13, 2016


                   THREE HOLY KILGOURS                                                          

Ida had a split screen up on the vidwall. On the left, she could see Sten and Alex strapping themselves into the seats of their lighter, and going through their flight check list before setting off to the Jo’l Cash.

On the right – thanks to the bugs Kilgour had planted – she could monitor the Flame’s command room, where crewmembers were gathered around Zheng and Rual.

She didn’t know what they were saying – for some reason the sound wasn’t working yet. But as she fiddled with the controls what she was seeing didn’t bode well.

There was much hand waving, shout-contorted faces, and other signs that Zheng and Rual were resisting demands for an immediate vote to accept the Emperor’s offer. But from all appearances the crew easily held the majority and she doubted the ringleaders of the mutiny could resist much longer.

Good. The sooner they got this crazy ass mission behind them, the sooner she could continue her interrupted vacation. She was anxious to get back to playing the galactic commodities market with her new boy toy. If they put their heads together – as well as other interesting body parts – they could clean up shorting the Imperium X market. She had a little chuckle over that train of thought. You are getting to be a dirty old Rom woman in your old age, Ida, she thought.

She looked over her shoulder at Doc, who was studying the faces and body movements of the crew, paying particular attention to Zheng and Rual. He’d been oddly quiet for the past hour and Ida wondered what the furry little vampire was thinking.

“That seemed to go well enough,” she said. “Sten and Kilgour kept them off guard the whole time. Sten played the big brother, or the uncle near your age, to a perfect ‘T’. Those scrotes were eating it up.”

She glanced at the screens, then back at Doc. “Except for Zheng and Rual,” she added. “They weren’t buying any of it.”

Doc scratched his furry ear and she frowned. This was Doc’s tell. A natural Doubting Thomas, Doc’s psy antenna was almost visibly a quiver when the doubts went to something worse. When that happened he got an itch behind his right ear that demanded immediate relief.

“She isn’t done escalating yet,” he said, indicating Rual. “She’s too worked up and can’t come down. Somebody needs to hit her with either a triple strength opioid or a padded club, whichever is closest to hand.”

More ear scratching. “And that clotting Zheng,” Doc said. “He’s acting like somebody used the above-mentioned padded club on him. It’s like he’s in a trance, letting Rual rail on without stepping in before she loses control.”

Sten’s voice came over the com unit. “That was my reading, too, Doc,” he said. “But now I’m starting to wonder if it’s deliberate. That maybe he wants Rual to blow.”

He fished a com unit out of his pocket. “Let me see if I can connect with Shaklin. Get him to step in.”

Sten spoke into it. Shook his head. Fiddled with controls, then sighed. “No go. Some kind of interference.”

“I’m sorting out the sound, so don’t worry,” Ida said, sounding a little testy. As if everybody thought the problem was her fault.

“Sure, sure, no problem” Sten said as soothingly as he could. Ida could get touchy when things technical dared to defy her.

“Also, Sten,” Ida said, “don’t forget you have the garbage option. If things go south, hit that eject button, and fast.”

She was reminding him of the Paku Defender she’d stashed in the trash chute. It was basically a shield, but with the nasty habit – from the attackers point of view - of not just warding off explosives, but projecting them back at two or three times the original force.

Sten laughed. “That’s right, all I gotta do is take out the trash,” he said.

Meanwhile, in the Flame’s command room, Shaklin was stepping into the fray. Tall and dark, he gave off the auroa of infinite wisdom. In the chaos that had descended upon the command room he was an imposing figure who immediately caught everyone’s attention.

Kilgour noted that although the sound was still cut off and he couldn’t hear what Shaklin was saying, he had an obvious calming influence on the group. Even Rual seemed to settle down a bit.

Alex drew everyone’s attention to the scene. “Dinnae fash, lads and lassies,” he said. “Ah have infinit’t faith in our wee bishop. He’s got the God Of Many Names on his side.”

Sten shot Alex a scoffing, give me a break look. “Since when did you get religion, Kilgour?” he said.

Alex looked miffed. “Why, it’s a well known fact that all Kilgours are religious,” he said. “And we have any number of holy lads and lassies to speak’it to the Big Man fer us.”

“Riiight,” Sten scoffed. He’d heard Alex’s views on religion many times and knew his friend to be a staunch atheist, like himself.

“Och, ye, ay wee faith,” Alex said, “it’s a weelk-knoon fact ‘at aw Kilgours ur religious. Ain we hae onie number ay holy lads and lassies tae speak’it tae the Big Cheil for us.”

“If you say so,” Sten said, as he gently separated the lighter from its berth and started away from the Flame.

Kilgour put a big hand on his chest as if insulted. “Ye be temptin’ the devil, lad,” he said. “Ye shoods ken thaur ur Kilgour priests, ministers, rabbis … ye name’t it, whatever the religion there’s a Kilgour to uphauld it.”

Despite himself, Sten was drawn in. “No wonder there are so many atheists,” he said. “Mystery solved. The Kilgour clan is singlehandedly driving people away from religion.”

“Nothin’ further frae th’ truth,” Alex protested. “Why, three ay mah great-great uncles waur such miracle workers when it cam tae convertin’ th’ unfaithful ‘at they e’en converted a forest foo ay bears.”

“Okay, okay,” Sten said, stricken with the sudden fear that he had just stepped into a Kilgour shaggy dog story trap. “Never mind that. Pay attention to the com board. We have people who’d like to see us dead, you know.”

“Yoo won’t gie off sae easily, young Sten,” Alex said. “Yoohave insulted th’ dignity of the Shaolin Kilgour!”

A swarm of the Flame’s repair bots appeared on the port screen and Sten was kept too busy avoiding them to stop Kilgour’s flow.

“One day three of mah uncles waur takin’ their ease in a pub,” Kilgour said, “discussin’t their favorite ways ay convertin’ folks.

“They were diff’rint because one uncle was a Catholic priest in good standing, anither was a Baptist minister and th’ third was a wee rabbi of the Jewish faith.

“An’ although they wair holy men, they fell intae argument abit who was th’ best. Fer a real challenge of their convertin’ skills, they agreed, wood be tae preach to a bear.

“Weel, one body hin’ led tae anither, an they decided on a experiment. They’d go to th’ woods, fin’ a bear, preach tae it, an attempt tae convert it tae their religion.”

Ida’s voice broke in. “Okay, Kilgour, knock it the clot off. This is neither the time or the place for-“

Kilgour cut her off. “Ye got yer nethers in an uproar, lass,” he said. “Ah fear religion is th’ only cure fur ye.”

And with that, he went on:

“So, back to me three uncles. Seven days later they came together to discuss their experiences.

“Father Kilgour – the priest – hud his arm in a sling, was on crutches an’ hud bandages aw ower his body. He said, ‘I went intae th’ wood tae fin’ me a bear and when Ah found heem, Ah began to read tae heem frae th’ holdy Catechism.

“‘Weel, ‘at furst th’ bear wanted nae tae do wi’ me and began to slap me around. Sae, Ah quickly grabbed me holy water an’ sprinkled heem all over his furry body. An’ – just like tha’ - he became as gentle as a sweet lamb… Th’ bishop is comin’ next week tae gie heem First Communion an’ Confirmation!’”

At that moment the sound aboard the Flame suddenly cut in and they heard a blood-freezing shriek.



NOTE FROM ALLAN: My multi-talented brother, Drew Cole, has just released a marvelous new album of original songs – “Let Me Off The Hook.” Some of the songs will make you cry, some will tickle your irony bone, and all of them will take you back to moments in your life, both painful or joyful, that will never be forgotten. The songs are free, but you can feed the kitty if you like them. Click on this link and hear for yourself. 


Ever since my British publisher put all eight novels in the Sten series in three omnibus editions, American readers have been clamoring for equal treatment. 

Well, my American publisher – Wildside Books – was listening and is issuing all three omnibus omnibus volumes on this side of the Atlantic. Sten Omnibus #1 was published 
last month. Sten Omnibus #2 debuts this week. Stay tuned for the publication for Volume Three. 

THE TIMURA TRILOGY: When The Gods Slept, Wolves Of The Gods and The Gods Awaken. This best selling fantasy series now available as trade paperbacks, e-books (in all varieties) and as audiobooks. Visit The Timura Trilogy page for links to all the editions. 

NEWLY REVISED KINDLE EDITIONS OF THE TIMURA TRILOGY NOW AVAILABLE. (1) When The Gods Slept;(2) Wolves Of The Gods; (3) The Gods Awaken.


Tales Sometimes Tall, but always true, of Allan Cole's years in Hollywood with his late partner, Chris Bunch. How a naked lady almost became our first agent. How we survived La-La Land with only the loss of half our brain cells. How Bunch & Cole became the ultimate Fix-It Boys. How an alleged Mafia Don was very, very good to us. The guy who cornered the market on movie rocks. Andy Warhol's Fire Extinguisher. The Real Stars Of Hollywood. Why they don't make million dollar movies. See The Seven Pi$$ing Dwarfs. Learn: how to kill a "difficult" actor… And much, much more.

Here's where you can buy it worldwide in both paperback and Kindle editions:

U.S. .............................................France
United Kingdom ...........................Spain
Canada ........................................ Italy
Germany ..................................... Japan
Brazil .......................................... India


A NATION AT WAR WITH ITSELF: In Book Three Of The Shannon Trilogy, young Patrick Shannon is the heir-apparent to the Shannon fortune, but murder and betrayal at a family gathering send him fleeing into the American frontier, with only the last words of a wise old woman to arm him against what would come. And when the outbreak of the Civil War comes he finds himself fighting on the opposite side of those he loves the most. In The Wars Of The Shannons we see the conflict, both on the battlefield and the homefront, through the eyes of Patrick and the members of his extended Irish-American family as they struggle to survive the conflict that ripped the new nation apart, and yet, offered a dim beacon of hope.



A True Story About A Boy,
A Teacher, And Earthquake,
Some Terrorists And The CIA

LUCKY IN CYPRUS is a coming-of-age story set in the Middle East during the height of the Cold War. An American teenager – son of a CIA operative – is inspired by grand events and a Greek Cypriot teacher. 

He witnesses earthquakes and riots and terrorist attacks, but in the end it is his teacher’s gentle lessons that keep him whole.

Here's where to get the paperback & Kindle editions worldwide: 

Here's what readers say about Lucky In Cyprus:
  • "Bravo, Allan! When I finished Lucky In Cyprus I wept." - Julie Mitchell, Hot Springs, Texas
  • "Lucky In Cyprus brought back many memories... A wonderful book. So many shadows blown away!" - Freddy & Maureen Smart, Episkopi,Cyprus. 
  • "... (Reading) Lucky In Cyprus has been a humbling, haunting, sobering and enlightening experience..." - J.A. Locke,



THE HATE PARALLAX: What if the Cold War never ended -- but continued for a thousand years? Best-selling authors Allan Cole (an American) and Nick Perumov (a Russian) spin a mesmerizing "what if?" tale set a thousand years in the future, as an American and a Russian super-soldier -- together with a beautiful American detective working for the United Worlds Police -- must combine forces to defeat a secret cabal ... and prevent a galactic disaster! This is the first - and only - collaboration between American and Russian novelists. Narrated by John Hough. Click the title links below for the trade paperback and kindle editions. (Also available at iTunes.)


A novel by Allan and his daughter, Susan

After laboring as a Doctors Without Borders physician in the teaming refugee camps and minefields of South Asia, Dr. Ann Donovan thought she'd seen Hell as close up as you can get. And as a fifth generation CIA brat, she thought she knew all there was to know about corruption and betrayal. But then her father - a legendary spymaster - shows up, with a ten-year-old boy in tow. A brother she never knew existed. Then in a few violent hours, her whole world is shattered, her father killed and she and her kid brother are one the run with hell hounds on their heels. They finally corner her in a clinic in Hawaii and then all the lies and treachery are revealed on one terrible, bloody storm- ravaged night.

BASED ON THE CLASSIC STEN SERIES by Allan Cole & Chris Bunch: Fresh from their mission to pacify the Wolf Worlds, Sten and his Mantis Team encounter a mysterious ship that has been lost among the stars for thousands of years. At first, everyone aboard appears to be long dead. Then a strange Being beckons, pleading for help. More disturbing: the presence of AM2, a strategically vital fuel tightly controlled by their boss - The Eternal Emperor. They are ordered to retrieve the remaining AM2 "at all costs." But once Sten and his heavy worlder sidekick, Alex Kilgour, board the ship they must dare an out of control defense system that attacks without warning as they move through dark warrens filled with unimaginable horrors. When they reach their goal they find that in the midst of all that death are the "seeds" of a lost civilization. 



Venice Boardwalk Circa 1969
In the depths of the Sixties and The Days Of Rage, a young newsman, accompanied by his pregnant wife and orphaned teenage brother, creates a Paradise of sorts in a sprawling Venice Beach community of apartments, populated by students, artists, budding scientists and engineers lifeguards, poets, bikers with  a few junkies thrown in for good measure. The inhabitants come to call the place “Pepperland,” after the Beatles movie, “Yellow Submarine.” Threatening this paradise is  "The Blue Meanie,"  a crazy giant of a man so frightening that he eventually even scares himself.

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